Kuidas panna laps tundma, et teda armastatakse

Selleks, et laps end tõeliselt armastatuna tunneks, ei piisa ainult sõnadest. Teod peavad sõnu toetama, sest kui need lähevad sõnadega vastuollu, usub laps alati tegu, mitte sõna. Olen kiirematel aegadel enda laste pealt näinud, et kui vanem on mattunud töistesse ja kodustesse askeldustesse ega leia lapse jaoks rohkem aega, kui ta möödaminnes korraks sülle krahmata, “Ma armastan sind!” öelda ja oma kohustuste virrvarri naasta, siis ei tähenda see armastusavaldus lapse jaoks midagi. Ei suurenda turvatunnet, ei kasvata enesekindlust, ei anna hingele sooja.
Lugesin kunagi üht blogipostitust lehelt creativekids.com, kus on kirjas 100 viisi, kuidas oma lapse vastu lahke olla. See inspireeris mind endale sama eesmärgilist nimekirja välja mõtlema ning seda enda oma nüüd teiega jagangi.

Kuidas panna last end tõeliselt armastatuna tundma?


Ütle:

1. Ma armastan sind.

2. Ma armastan sind, mis iganes ka ei juhtuks.

3. Ma armastan sind, isegi kui sa oled minu peale vihane.

4. Ma armastan sind, isegi kui ma olen sinu peale vihane.

5.Ma armastan sind nii siis, kui sa oled minuga, kui siis, kui oleme teineteisest eemal.

6. Ma armastan sind nii palju, nagu taevas on tähti, ja isegi veel rohkem.

7. Kui ma saaksin valida endale kogu maailma laste seast, siis ma valiksin sinu.

8. Aitäh, et sa oled olemas.

9. Mulle tõesti meeldis täna sinuga mängida.

10. Mu lemmikhetk tänasest päevast oli, kui… (nimeta konkreetne hetk koos lapsega).

 

Mängi:

1. Peitust.

2. Tagaajamist.

3. Lauluvõistlust.

4. Rollimänge (arst, õpetaja, poemüüja jm).

5. Et sa oled kallistamismasin.

6. Et sa muutusid beebiks ja laps on sinu vanem.

7. Et te olete välismaalased ja räägite lapsega väljamõeldud keeles.

8. Äraarvamismängu – mõista, mõista, kes on see laps, keda ma maailmas kõige rohkem armastan?

9. Ahvimist – tehke järgi üksteise liigutusi, näoilmeid, žeste ja häält.

10. Telkimist.

 

Kuula:

1. Oma last üleni – mitte ainult tema sõnu, vaid ka tegusid. Ja mitte ainult tema tegusid, vaid ka põhjusi nende tegude taga.

2. Muusikat. Laulge kõva häälega kaasa.

3. Linde. Kui neid veel looduses pole, kuulake linnulauluplaate ja püüdke meelde jätta, mis linnuga on tegu.

4. Oma kodu häält. Olge 30 sekundit täiesti tasa ja palu lapsel öelda, mis helisid ta kuulis.

5. Klassikalist muusikat. Rääkige, kas muusika on rõõmus või kurblik, kiire või aeglane. Mis tunde see pala lapses tekitas?

6. Lapse naeru. Ja lapsel on väga vaja kuulda sinu naeru.

7. Mere häält. Metsa häält. Looduse hääli. Teadvustage ja kirjeldage neid.

8. Üksteise südame tuksumist.

9. Tänavamüra. Arvake, mis masin mis häält tegi, ja mõelge lugusid, kuhu see masin teel võis olla ja mis võis temaga huvitavat juhtuda.

10. Erinevaid hääli ja andke neile nimed. (Vesi pahises. Tuul vuhises. Nööp kukkus klirinal. Putukas lendas põrinal. Issi kõndis tümpsudes. Koera küüned klõbisesid vastu põrandat.)

 

Vaata:

1. Last lahke pilguga, kui ta tuppa tuleb.

2. Koos lapsega raamatuid.

3. Videviku saabumist.

4. Lapse joonistusi ja meisterdusi.

5. Koos lapsega teineteisele silma, nii et naerma ei tohi hakata.

6. Koos lapsega end peeglist, leidke sarnasusi ja erinevusi.

7. Vahel lapse veast mööda.

8. End vahel vanemana eemalt, kõrvalseisja pilguga. Kas teeksid ja käituksid sama moodi edasi, nagu seni?

9. Ettepoole. Kas tüli, mis teil lapsega on, on ikka asja üle, mis on tõesti oluline ka homme, nädala, aasta pärast?

10. Mõnd eset ja lase lapsel küsimuste abil mõistata, millist.

 

Näita:

1. Eeskuju.

2.Vanu pildialbumeid ajast, mil olid ise laps.

3. Kuidas midagi keerulist teha, selle asemel, et seda lapsele keelata.

4. Oma armastust mitte üksnes lapse, vaid kõigi teie pere liikmete vastu.

5. Kuidas vilistada.

6. Oma lapsepõlve joonistusi, kleepsu-, udupaberi- või kommipaberikogusid, kui sul neid veel alles on.

7. Kuidas süüa teha.

8. Kuidas koduloomade eest hoolitseda.

9. Tema ultrahelipilti, sünnitunnistust, katsikukaarte, esimest lutti, tekki või mütsikest.

10. Kuidas otsida infot küsimuste kohta, mille vastuseid sa ei tea.

 

Üllata:

1. Tee suvalisel hetkel pidu – lihtsalt selleks, et oleks tore.

2. Kutsu vanavanemad külla.

3. Korista salaja lapse tuba ise ära.

4. Minge piknikule.

5. Saada talle päris kiri.

6. Joonista talle pudru peale moosiga süda.

7. Jäta talle kotti mõni toetav sõnum.

8. Kui lapse pahandus pole pahatahtlik, siis ära saa vihaseks, vaid hoopis kallista ja hakka naerma.

9. Mängides temaga õhinal midagi, milleks sa tavaliselt aega või tahtmist ei leia.

10. Räägi talle endast midagi, mida ta veel ei tea.

 

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